Tonight I found out that I have really stuffed up. My new tv remote is taking a while to figure out, and tonight’s fumbling left me stranded on commercial tv. As I started to break into a cold sweat of panic, fervently stabbing at all buttons to return me from tabloid hell, I heard the tinkling joy of small child voices, and allowed myself to … Continue reading Parenting lessons I learnt tonight and wish I had learnt before my kid left home
My kid has been gone nearly a year. By my reckoning, we both got kind of used to the new way of things about six months in. I felt she got settled then, which made me get settled then. And my kid left two siblings behind, so I am not an empty nest candidate. But even having these two wonderful creatures still with me … Continue reading One Year In – Reflections from a Mum whose Kid Left Home for Uni
It was great to find this honest tale in the inbox yesterday – only relief for this UK mum who found escape from a toxic situation when her kid left home. It’s not always doom and gloom when they go … “When my kid left home? Well, there is a story … I couldn’t wait. As simple and as harsh as that. I simply could … Continue reading Peace at last … Story from a (very) relieved mum.
Some people cruise through it, some suffer in silence, some move on quickly, some do not. Your kid leaving home is a very personal journey. I read a first-person story on line recently about a woman grieving for her grown daughter who had moved interstate, and with whom she was super close, particularly after being nursed by her for a while. That made sense to … Continue reading Six tips for parents doing it tough since their kid left home
Love this great piece on supporting our kids during the end of high school as they battle expectations and the looming next stage of life (on ABC Life). “A recent study by headspace found 38 per cent of Australians aged between 18 and 21 reported high or very high levels of psychological distress. Whether you’re a parent, friend or teacher, here’s a guide to supporting … Continue reading Setting our kids up for success – how to support teens who are finishing high school (ABC Life)
If we need convincing of the value in staying connected with our adult kids, we can turn to ‘The Harvard Study of Adult Development’. Ignoring the fact that the nearly 80-year long study only looked at men for its first 65 years (it now has women and mid-life children (of the original participants), the findings have helped confirm the long known truth: Health and happiness is … Continue reading Three things to know about staying healthy and happy
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When Cecil Day-Lewis wrote “Walking Away”, he was reflecting on sending his son off to boarding school – some 18 years after the event. He said the memory of it “Gnaws at my mind still”. But then his kid was only seven … We hear this poem referenced when people talk of the difficulty of parting with their children, maybe for the truth of the … Continue reading “A parent’s love is shown through letting go”
It’s been super interesting picking up the ’empty nest’ stories from the northern hemisphere of late – there it is the season of farewells – where wings are being spread in their thousands as little darlings leave for Uni. In the southern hemisphere, the build up is in full swing, for a Jan-Feb departure. I loved the insights of Sabina Zalewska, a family psychologist, in … Continue reading Life after kids – some insights on the marriage bit
For many, grief is keenly associated with their kid leaving home. It can take many guises, from simple sadness, maybe fleeting, to overwhelming, searing pain. For the sufferers, when mixed with optimism and strength (underpinned with support from others), it may take on a less painful shape. For others it cuts deep, dominates and requires more work to recover from. Whatever it looks like for … Continue reading How useful are the ‘5 stages of grief’ when your kid leaves home?