My kid has been gone nearly a year. By my reckoning, we both got kind of used to the new way of things about six months in. I felt she got settled then, which made me get settled then. And my kid left two siblings behind, so I am not an empty nest candidate. But even having these two wonderful creatures still with me … Continue reading One Year In – Reflections from a Mum whose Kid Left Home for Uni
Whether you’re whooping or grieving, it’s the end of an era like no other. Whether they’ve hot footed it to Uni, or taken off for their first dose of independent living and working, here’s your guide on how to face forward and prosper (aka ‘get through’). Stage 1 – the early days Cry! Having a sob can be a fantastic release. Whatever emotion lies behind the … Continue reading 13 Survival Strategies for When Your Kid Leaves Home
It was great to find this honest tale in the inbox yesterday – only relief for this UK mum who found escape from a toxic situation when her kid left home. It’s not always doom and gloom when they go … “When my kid left home? Well, there is a story … I couldn’t wait. As simple and as harsh as that. I simply could … Continue reading Peace at last … Story from a (very) relieved mum.
Some people cruise through it, some suffer in silence, some move on quickly, some do not. Your kid leaving home is a very personal journey. I read a first-person story on line recently about a woman grieving for her grown daughter who had moved interstate, and with whom she was super close, particularly after being nursed by her for a while. That made sense to … Continue reading Six tips for parents doing it tough since their kid left home
Love this great piece on supporting our kids during the end of high school as they battle expectations and the looming next stage of life (on ABC Life). “A recent study by headspace found 38 per cent of Australians aged between 18 and 21 reported high or very high levels of psychological distress. Whether you’re a parent, friend or teacher, here’s a guide to supporting … Continue reading Setting our kids up for success – how to support teens who are finishing high school (ABC Life)
If we need convincing of the value in staying connected with our adult kids, we can turn to ‘The Harvard Study of Adult Development’. Ignoring the fact that the nearly 80-year long study only looked at men for its first 65 years (it now has women and mid-life children (of the original participants), the findings have helped confirm the long known truth: Health and happiness is … Continue reading Three things to know about staying healthy and happy
When Cecil Day-Lewis wrote “Walking Away”, he was reflecting on sending his son off to boarding school – some 18 years after the event. He said the memory of it “Gnaws at my mind still”. But then his kid was only seven … We hear this poem referenced when people talk of the difficulty of parting with their children, maybe for the truth of the … Continue reading “A parent’s love is shown through letting go”
It’s been super interesting picking up the ’empty nest’ stories from the northern hemisphere of late – there it is the season of farewells – where wings are being spread in their thousands as little darlings leave for Uni. In the southern hemisphere, the build up is in full swing, for a Jan-Feb departure. I loved the insights of Sabina Zalewska, a family psychologist, in … Continue reading Life after kids – some insights on the marriage bit
For many, grief is keenly associated with their kid leaving home. It can take many guises, from simple sadness, maybe fleeting, to overwhelming, searing pain. For the sufferers, when mixed with optimism and strength (underpinned with support from others), it may take on a less painful shape. For others it cuts deep, dominates and requires more work to recover from. Whatever it looks like for … Continue reading How useful are the ‘5 stages of grief’ when your kid leaves home?
“I felt relieved when my step-child left. It was just time. He was nearly 22. He moved to the next state, takes four hours in the car so it’s a good distance away. The advantage of him being a bit older was that he didn’t need loads of stuff buying, and we had plenty to give him. But despite him being ready, and my relief, it … Continue reading “Learn to detach with love … and don’t fix their problems”
This beautiful mamma had three sons who all chose to go to University overseas. Now that’s got to be tough? The final year with each boy was unique. They were each so ready to leave home and go start their owns lives. Most of the time I knew it was not about leaving me….or rather not in a personal “I hate you can’t wait … Continue reading “Saying goodbye cuts out a little piece of your soul”
My daughter had the biggest room in the house. Two windows onto the garden, framing an old wooden desk from her father’s youth. Opposite, a wall of shelves groaning with fantasy fiction, dystopian futures, botanical analysis, Harper Lee and JK Rowling, maths and chem, pop ups, falling apart antique, Leunig, Sean Tan, Shakespeare. And among this, all manner of little bits, things, images, oddities, reflective … Continue reading A sense of betrayal – who’d have thunk it